serialbathera: (Josh Pink)
[personal profile] serialbathera
I decided to post on here because they sent me an email. I do forget sometimes i have other blog sites besides Livejournal. It is so easy to forget sometimes.
My goal this summer is to try to be more open.. well, I guess in a sense, to try to be more comfortable with myself... which leads to me feeling that I can tell people more in my life.
I have a tendency to try to censor myself.
I also have a tendency to forget that I have random places in the internet I could technically express myself... but I don't... today for the first time in who knows how long I decided to log onto my myspace account. I didn't find any reason for me to stay log in too long, though I was
randomly searching people I know who aren't actually connected to my myspace. I could add them but that means I have to be active on myspace again.
I never was really popular there, and I don't expect to be. It was more an experiment.
I get distracted easily, and despite all the random accounts I have set up online, I realize when I go online I really only go to about 4 websites. I don't branch out more. I am sure I could easily branch out in other areas of the cyberweb but I have never thought of myself as exciting as other people.
I easily see the awesomeness in other people, and think that everything I do is horrid.
I am trying to work on it. It takes a long time to work on it.
Actually sometimes it seems I struggle not necessarily for happiness but just to feel even. Not to feel so chaotic in my head sometimes. I can't just hold one thought in my head like other people. Also, I know I am very prone to see things that are not there.
I was projecting on one of my friends the other day. My mind was telling me I should be worried about him... Maybe I project my feelings of loneliness and depression unto others because I hope that people can see the same in me without me telling them.
It is hard sometimes throwing up the silly facade I wear a lot of the time. And it is weird how even while I can make jokes, a part of my mind is feeling completely out of touch with everything.
I am trying though.
While I wish I could just wake up happy. I know that is not going to happen.
I am glad though I have such awesome people in my life. Everything in my life has happened for a reason, and hopefully I am on the exact path I need to be on so that I feel like a whole person, and not a sad little person who deserves to hide forever in the shadows.
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.


serialbathera: (Default)

December 2011

2526272829 3031

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 19th, 2017 03:08 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios